Carolina QuotesBut you see, I decided some years ago that what people thought about me, based upon the color of my skin, which I can do absolutely nothing about, was their problem and not my problem.
Clara Leach Adams-Ender
Carolinian
Source
Interview with Cheryl Corley, News & Notes, NPR, 27 March 2007
- form
- interview
- work
- News & Notes, NPR
- year
- 2007
Cite this record
“But you see, I decided some years ago that what people thoug…” Clara Leach Adams-Ender. Carolina Quotes, record CQ-36D1F96AD9. https://carolinaquotes.com/quote/36d1f96ad9
More from Clara Leach Adams-Ender
There were about 500 folks in the reviewing stands during my retirement parade at Ft. Belvoir. I thought I would experience a rush of powerful emotions and feelings during my last day in the Army, but that wasn't the case. The day was pretty much a blur, to be truthful. One minute I was in the Army, the next minute I wasn't. When my last day finally wound down, following a reception after my retirement parade, I went home and stood in front of a mirror as I took my uniform off one last time. A weary-looking, fifty-four-year-old black woman stared back. "You are retired," I told her. Instead of reacting visibly, she seemed almost indifferent. Hmmpphh! I took my uniform off and hung it up, as I had done thousands of times. Then I went to bed and immediately fell asleep.
And so I remember my mother talking to me at that time and told me that I was her child and as far as she was concerned, I was beautiful. And beauty was only skin deep, and that was not the only thing that you needed to concentrate on. And then I learned other ways of dealing with that kind of situation, in that I said, well, you know, I can develop some talents of my own, too - one of them being a smart person. And so that's what I did. I became an individual who was well-read, learned, and all of a sudden that whole business of what I looked like didn't matter anymore. It was what I had to offer.
I'd served the military with honor and distinction and felt things had gone well as a resuly. And I missed that. The best analogy I can think of is to suddenly cross the finish line after running a three-decade marathon. A marathon where the competition and the camaraderie have you feeling pumped about participating every day. I loved the Army, and I loved my service in defense of my country. Consequently, the first four days after I retired was a little weepy, as well as exhausted as hell. After waking up at four that first morning, I lounged in bed until nine o'clock the next three days. That may sound funny to some people, but to me nine o'clock was downright decadent! I did stop sleeping late, but was a lost soul for a good month after retirement. The void retirement had carved into my existence was almost similar to the passing of a friend or relative. I grappled with sadness and fond remembrances and even a little self-pity.