Carolina QuotesI don't know if you realize, but I use the word "Fuck," so that I can think of other stuff.
Lewis Black Carolinian
Source
No citation is recorded for this quotation.
- work
- The Carnegie Hall Performance (2006)
- year
- 2006
no citation recorded
Cite this record
“I don't know if you realize, but I use the word "Fuck," so t…” Lewis Black. Carolina Quotes, record CQ-5CD11CCCD0. https://carolinaquotes.com/quote/5cd11cccd0
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If I wanted to be bored by 6,000 pages of unreadable dreck, I'd read War and Peace four times.
FEMA? I always thought it was a bone here in your ass.
Now I used to have an iPhone. And it was a great computer. It was in no way a phone. Because the carrier was AT&T, and AT&T is a carrier, in much the same way as a mosquito carries malaria. I'd have been better off with a Dixie Cup and a string. I finally took it over to the Apple Store to see if there was something they could do. And let me just say: if you're interested in what life is like on other planets, you're gonna wanna get to the Apple Store. They. Are not. Of us. They. Have. No genitals. It's why they stand so close - they're sniffing you. That's how they get their data. Yes, it is. So I was standing in the Apple Store, and a capon came up to me. "I see you have an iPhone. How many applications have you downloaded into your phone?" (makes sniffing noises) "Well, I haven't downloaded any... um, I came here to see if you had an app that would turn this PIECE OF SHIT INTO A FUCKING PHONE!"