Wise men say that time is like a river. I say time is like a river of SHIT... and as you float down that river in your little canoe, your paddles are getting smaller and smaller.
Lewis Black Carolinian
Source
No citation is recorded for this quotation.
- work
- Last Laugh ‘06 (2006)
- year
- 2006
no citation recorded
Cite this record
“Wise men say that time is like a river. I say time is like a…” Lewis Black. Carolina Quotes, record CQ-7D5703D460. https://carolinaquotes.com/quote/7d5703d460
More from Lewis Black
I was home alone watching George Bush speak on television. So it was just really the two of us. And as I listened to him, I realized, that one of us... was nuts! And for the first time ever, I went "Wow, it's not me!"
I love Wisconsin, I love coming here. I've performed here a lot because I've discovered that you people apparently have some sort of federal grant for drinking. [audience cheers] It's–you're insane! You pay less for liquor than anybody I know anywhere in the country. Nobody pays any less for liquor than you. What're you–what're you–HOW?! I don't know if you're using that farm subsidy money, or if you're just hijacking liquor trucks, but this is fucking insane. [audience member shouts something] Is it volume? It's unbe–fucking–lievable, it's staggering! I come here because basically if I spend four days here drinking, and even with the plane ticket, it's cheaper than drinking in New York. How do you know when it's New Year's? That's the big mystery to me. What's the difference? I've been in bars here and it's like New Year's every fucking night! "Uh, New Year's, that's when we–we drink with hats on."
So that's how you wanna play it, old man? No dessert? Oh sure, we'll eat our dinner, right after you eat THIS!